Well it has been nearly 2 years since I last posted but that is because life has been full, good and busy
I had my last Haematology appointment in November 2014 and I was discharged!
Lymphoma usually reoccurs within the first two years, so with no further problems I was finally pronounced  "in remission" or "completely healed" as I prefer to beleive.

This year I celebrated my 50th birthday in October, being thrilled to reach 50 when the story could have been different.
My wonderful husband took me on a secret holiday for 3 weeks; Flew to Vancouver then took an amazing Alaskan Cruise for a week. We then travelled across Canada on the train with two nights on board, through the Rockie Mountains to Melville. He had arranged without me knowing anything for my family to meet us there. I haven't seen my cousins for 40 years when they emigrated and my closest cousin was diagnosed with Myeloma in the summer. I had wanted to see him for so long but had never been able to get out there for various reasons. We had a wonderful reunion and I saw all my family there.
When we came home I had a party the following week with family and friends to celebrate in style!
Two days after that we moved house into the countryside! So life has been very full!

I have ongoing leg pains which we cant get to the bottom of. I think it may be Chronic Tendonitis and it limits my walking a lot. Today I am having an MRI scan on my knee to see if that is contributing as my knee has swollen recently. There are no concerns about this being secondary cancer of any type but it does limit my exercise a lot.
My new GP has been very proactive is investigating so I feel well supported by my GP again.

As the girls are no longer at home now, we are enjoying our time as a couple and planning to visit California in the summer. There will be some Disney with my Step-Children but my daughter and me are looking forward to exploring LA, visiting Hollywood and some famous beaches!
I now have travel insurance to travel anywhere in the world, and did get it last year at a premium of only £100 excess with HSBC.

I would love to hear from anybody else who has been affected by Lymphoma and will aim to update this blog more frequently.

Happy New Year to all my followers!

One year ago today I received my diagnosis from my GP; I remember well the intense anxiety and fear of what was to come that I felt that day.

One year on and I am back to full health, back to work and happier than I have been for many years.
I could never have imagined this time last year that I would be in such a different place this year.
My hairstyle has changed, my name has changed, my outlook on life has changed and I thank God for bringing through tot he other side.
Last weekend my lovely husband took me to London and we saw Michael Buble in concert on Friday night, a relaxing day Saturday on Hamstead Heath, then dinner at The Ritz on Sunday. I sat there and nearly pinched myself to believe that it wasn't a dream and that life is so good and I am well. I have a wonderful man to share life with.

I am having physio treatment on my shoulder now as it became quite painful at extremes of movement. I am in expert hands with the Head of Department at the hospital who is gently mobilising the stiffness away. We are not sure exactly what has caused it but I'm convinced that the chemo drugs played a part in affecting my muscles and causing stiffness within them. I am going to do a bit of research around the subject.
My calf muscles still suffer from pains also which eases with walking and gets worse with rest, so I guess I will just have to keep walking!

My next hospital check-up is not until November, but I have a Bone Density scan booked next week to check the state of my bones with my forced menopause caused by the chemotherapy. I am hoping to avoid HRT as I do not want to increase my risk any further of developing another cancer, but at the same time do not want to become Osteoporotic.

My hair is now about 3 inches long, but very curly so appears shorter. I have my first proper haircut booked for next Friday which I'm very excited about!

Preparations are under way for my eldest daughters 23rd birthday this Sunday; This year we can celebrate properly without the dark cloud hanging over us. We will enjoy the sunshine with Pimms and a special home cooked Indian meal, and celebrate all being together. Harry Potters Studios in London is booked for her birthday present.

In the words of Michael Buble last week;

Its a new dawn, its a new day, its a new life, and I'm feeling good!

I now write this blog as Mrs James!

The big day went better than I could ever have hoped for. There was a last-minute weather crisis with several inches of snow being forcast so a wedding umbrella and wellies were bought in preparation!
However, although being bitterly cold, the snow held off her until the afternoon when there was just a covering. Some lovely snowy scenes made the day even more special.
I had my first haircut the week prior to the wedding, which tidied up the curly sprouts! I had just enough hair on the day to look like a short haircut rather than a number three! I'm still getting used to the darker colour.

Having three weeks off work was very timely. It gave me opportunity to prepare in a relaxed way for the wedding and honeymoon, shopping for a few new clothes too.
Two weeks in Gran Canaria sunshine was just the perfect place to relax and recharge after my first few months back at work. I felt so much better in myself by the end of the holiday with hardly any tiredness.
I am still getting a lot of muscle aching around my shoulders and they can be quite painful at night time if I try to lift my arm up suddenly. I did get a massage when I came home with my usual lady at Starthrowers and she said that shoulder pain is quite common following chemotherapy but is temporary.
I have also joined a local heath club to be able to swim regularly as swimming helps work all the muscles to make them stronger. A jacuzzi there also helps to relax them off afterwards.

My return to work was fine, as i was ready to go back and share photos tec with friends and colleagues.
I still have limited private work, so working about 23 hours each week. I have several new referrals that will increase that over the next month or two.
The hospice increased hours are being discussed still and may not be established until Sept/Oct. This would be better timing for me to consider a full-time post.

My hair is now very curly and between 1-2 inches all over! It is a new look that I am enjoying but cant wait for some highlights!

I have my next consultant appointment in a few weeks when I hope a scan will be on the agenda to check everything is as it appears. I do still get some uncomfortable feelings in my chest which may be radiotherapy scarring, but would like to know it is not the lymphoma I can feel.

Below is a photo to show my new hairstyle and my very special wedding day with my special husband

I have realised that I have not updated my Blog since seeing my Oncology Consultant in February.
There was no definitive outcome, but judging by my progress with returning to work and diminishing fatigue the treatment was regarded as successful. A scan at this stage was discussed, though the results could be inconclusive, therefore it thought better to wait a few months until my next appointment in May to discuss further whether this was necessary.

Since then I have continued to feel a bit stronger each week and a bit less tired in the evenings. I still tend to crash around 8.0pm and have an early bath to relax my muscles off. I have suffered over the last few weeks with some pain in the muscles around my shoulders and upper back which eases a lot in the bath. Maybe some tissue changes from the radiotherapy , but a massage at the Starthrowers Centre helped a lot. The lady who gave me a massage during my chemo is away until mid-March so I will have to wait a while to see her but I think regular massage will help to work through any scar tissue that may have formed.

Wedding preparations are well under control now with everything booked, outfits bought, flowers ordered and honeymoon tickets due to arrive any day! I am excited about the big day, but really looking forward to two weeks away on our own in the sunshine! I have three weeks off work, one before the wedding and two after so should be able to have a relaxing and refreshing break.
My hair has grown enough to look like a short haircut now instead of a number 3 or 4! It is starting to curl and there is no grey! So I feel less conscious about my hair for the wedding day and have found a lovely hair decoration (not fascinator) to compliment the hairstyle.
I was even told that I looked much younger with my hair short this week, so I may keep it this way, especially as its a zero maintenance style in the morning!

I do struggle from time to time with fluctuating emotions around events of the last year and before but try to stay positive. I have a new and good future to look forward to and grateful for the chance to live life normally again with happy times ahead.

5 weeks into my back to work schedule and I am now up to my 18 NHS hours with two private patients a week. I'm pleased to say that this has been ok although i do get tired, just rest when that happens.
The decision about my private work was made for me as I discovered that another physio who had been employed to see three of the children in my absence was going to continue seeing them. Initially this felt like a huge blow on my confidence and my finances as this formed half of my regular caseload.
However since getting my head round it, they are all quite physically demanding patients to work with and demanding parents so I'm probably better off without that stress. It did cause concern for my finances as my NHS salary is not sufficient on its own. With the two remaining regular patients I can just keep my head above water and the workload is about right for now.
While debating how I was going to improve this situation, I was offered  an almost full-time post at the children's hospice where the NHS have a contract which I currently work. It sounded like good news although with my hospital hours would be a full-time post. I don't feel ready to leave the security of my hospital post yet so not sure how doing both will work, but further discussions with managers might lead to an easier decision. I dont think anything would change within 3 months as there is a contract in place that would require notice to change.
This would provide security for the future in terms of any sick leave and all my pension terms, holiday terms etc would be transferable without losing out on anything. A Band 7 paediatric post is very difficult to secure these days with a lot of physios being down-banded so this is a great opportunity, but not the right time for me to be working full-time.
Quality of life must come into my decision making as I don't want to compromise my health for work and there will be a second income contributing to household expenses soon.

On the hair front, I am now sporting an Ann Hathaway look, following her crop in Les Miserables!
It is about 1cm all over and quite thick, dark brown not grey!! After many years of having it highlighted it seems dark but at least its hair. A shampoo I was recommended called "Fast" has certainly done as it claims and helped the growth. Amino acids are supposed too treat the scalp to encourage hair growth.
It just about feels like a short haircut now rather than a number 2 or 3.

Wednesday is my Consultant Review with my Oncologist, first one since finishing treatment. I'm not expecting any revelations either way, but will be good to talk through some minor symptons that persist and what to expect in the future. I think a lot will be just waiting and seeing, but hopefully some reassurance about where \I am at right now.
Somehow when all the treatment has finished its harder as there is no regular contact with doctors. Hopefully this appointment will help me to understand what happens from here.

First week back at work: great to be back after 5 months off and rediscover some normality.

It came directly after our break at Champeneys Henlow, where as a rare treat, my sister, Mum and dad and myself spent 2 days together relaxing together. It was a very special Christmas present from mum and dad, which after my last visit there allowed me to give thanks for the return of good health.My sister and I last visited two days before my diagnosis was given by my GP. It had been a very tense time and difficult to relax or enjoy and pampering as I was limited in what I could access.
This time I had a wonderful facial to restore my skin after the challenges of chemotherapy and radiotherapy. Swimming again was such a treat after the radiotherapy prevented me from even submerging in the bath!
The yoga classes allowed me to stretch effectively and lose the muscle pain I had in my calf .
The food was divine and healthy, kick-starting the healthy eating plan for 2013, to shed a few pounds gained from my period of inactivity.

My energy levels changed from even one week previous, so that the timing to return to work was perfect.
I did however only work 4.5 hours on 2 days!! A lovely gentle start back at the hospital which will continue this way for the next 4 weeks. That gives me oppertunity to build up my private work as my body allows.
This is necessary to bring my income back above 50% of what I have been getting for the last 5 months, but my bank account is still in the black thankfully.
Purchasing a wedding dress even at a 70% discount and dresses for the girls has hit it a bit further but managing to keep the purchases on budget!
The January sales enticed me to test my current stamina state, which improved dramatically with the lure of bargains!

It is just wonderful to be able to visit the supermarket, without feeling total fatigue afterwards and do jobs around the house for more than 20 minutes and enjoy exercising.
I still am a little breathless when I reach the top of the stairs in my house, but it is two flights to the second floor. Some of that may be due to some lung inflammation still too as I sometimes catch my breath with a short gasp as if I cant get the air in.

My skin has returned to normal over the radiation area since changing cream and the redness is minimal now.
My hair is about 1cm long all over and I have abandoned my wig as I decided to return to work without it to avoid the dilemma later of going "naked!" It feels great but is cold at times, so using a knitted headband for a bit of warmth when I need it.

So having been reunited with my man after his holiday away with his children, returning to work and planning the details of our wedding and a honeymoon, life is good!!

So its the end of 2012.
 Little did I know  last New Years Eve, what the year would hold.
Better that I didnt know about most of it as I would have chosen to bypass the year totally.
Had I done that though, I would have missed out on so many blessings. Despite the battle against cancer, I have so much to be thankful for:

• A family around me that love me beyond measure
• Friends that will give up their time to feed me, clean my house, buy me flowers, overwhelm me with their love
• A special man with whom I have learnt to fully love again and have a future with
• A body that is able to recover itself and regain strength
• A roof over my head still that has provided a safe haven for us all to heal in
• Medical Expertise that is able to diagnose and treat illness effectively with 21st Century technology
• A job to return to with caring staff to support me
• Time spent with special people in a way I have never had before
• A hope and a future whatever the outcome 
• Seeing the world in a different perspective, appreciating the little things more
• Time to just "be" rather than "do"

To name just few.

I started writing a poem in the summer which I have completed tonight and it seems the right time to share,

The tapestry of life
Life takes us through many twists and turns
As a river meanders its way through  ,
We dont know what lies around the bend
But countless challenges, effortless joy
Make us into the people we become.

Life is easy when the road is straight ,
The pathway ahead uncluttered and clear;
Unexpected circumstances redirect
Changing the route on which we relied
Offering crossroads or even a deep divide.

The road may become tough, muddy and wild
Exposed to the elements, chilled to the core
Life challenges our being to the very extreme
Stretching and testing to refine us more
To become as the person God made us.

Sometimes circumstances, sometimes fate
Delivers a hand we would choose to avoid.
Yet we might miss the beauty of a rugged ravine
Where hardship lies dangerously close
To an unexpected calm.

Embrace the changes, cling not to the old
If a new road opens up before you.
There are no "U" turns in this life on earth
For we need to move on towards the goal 
Which brings freedom and life to the very soul.

So as we say goodbye to another year
We  wait a while to pause to reflect
Of lessons learned and blessings untold
Days filled with silver, bronze or gold
Form the tapestry, we must never forget.

Welcome 2013 with open arms
Unafraid of the events it may bring.
Live life as if each day were the last
Counting the blessings and leaving the past
To itself, and give thanks for just being.

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL WHO HAVE FOLLOWED MY JOURNEY SO FAR...I HOPE WE WILL HAVE MANY MORE DAYS AHEAD TO SHARE TOGETHER!

Hair is growing back; number one all over now!

Although my treatment journey is hopefully complete, I will continue the blog to record my recovery progress as it may be helpful to other people suffering from the same condition.

When I googled "when does your hair grow back after chemotherapy" there was very little information or detail. There was one photo of a lady's head that I could find. I will add a photo of my hair at this stage,
8 weeks after finishing chemotherapy.
Once it broke the surface, it has grown quite rapidly in just a week or so.
My hairdresser has recommended that I have the initial growth shaved off to allow the hair to strengthen but I don't know if I can bring myself to do that after waiting so long to see it appear! It is only about 5mm long, so I wouldn't be losing much but it is very precious now!

It is exactly a week since I finished radiotherapy.
Following a lovely evening out with family on the Friday, I had a hugely emotional day on the Saturday. I was totally exhausted and couldn't stop crying. Whether it was relief, or having had to keep going for 5 months with the programme I don't know. An early night on Saturday helped and Sunday I felt much better.
I managed a 3 mile walk with Walk for Health around Whitlingham Broad on the Monday and felt much less fatigued than the previous walk at the end.

I have spent this week making goodies for Christmas hampers and even ventured out alone on two occasions. My stamina is gradually improving as I am able to do a little more before resting each day.
I also met up with all my work colleagues on Tuesday for our Christmas lunch. I had the salmon option rather than turkey due to eating difficulties, but it was all very enjoyable. We had Secret Santa gifts and a good catch up generally. I'm looking forward to returning in January as Im starting to feel ready to do so.
Fortunately the side-effects of radiotherapy are not nearly as bad as I was warned. Apart from some discomfort last weekend, I have not felt many problems this week and needed little medication. I was warned of a peak around this weekend, but things are definitely improving slowly.

The Christmas tree and decorations went up last Sunday after very careful consideration of choice at Notcutts Garden Centre! Thanks to my man I was able to have a real tree which I enjoy looking at every day, appreciating more than normal as I am at home to enjoy it.

Its beginning to look a lot like Christmas!

My journey is completed!

Today I had my last session of radiotherapy and have even brought Darth home with me as a memento; for a short while any way!
I have no visits to the hospital now until the middle of January for a Radiotherapy Review.
I have been warned that my symptoms may peak in about 10 days time before they start to improve but at least I know that its all working as it should be.

So now its time to celebrate, having come through my journey with no complications and enjoy every day for what it brings. Joyful, joyful, sums up completely how I feel right now.
There will be no more "bad hair" days as just to have hair again will be a blessing.
I will be thankful for each day as my strength improves and I can get back to normal life.
I will never complain about exercising again or wish for a duvet day!

I want to thank all of my friends, family and my fiance(!) for the love  and support they have shown me to help me through. I couldn't have got through this without  all their love and prayers.
Little did I know that my journey through unknown territory would lead to being engaged!
I know that I am loved for who I am inside as the outside has been stripped away and I have been loved even more.

I want to thank God for His protection and strength to help me through each day, knowing that He is with me always and at times carrying me on the most difficult days when I had no strength.
I have known His presence in a way I have not felt before now.

I hope that everything that I have experienced will be able to help others in some way, either through my work or through friendships so that it will not have been time wasted.

But now, I have cracked open the tin of Celebration chocolates and look forward to an evening out with my family to celebrate life!
Hallelujah!

I have hair coming though!! Probably equal to a number one all over, or a six o'clock shadow!
Its taken about 7 weeks since finishing chemo to see the first signs
 It is dark also, so no ginger colour change I think! It will be a while yet before I can go public with it so my wig and me have to remain friends for a while longer yet.

I had my last Radiotherapy Review appointment today and need to start using the Lignocaine Muselage now prior to eating to ease the inflammation. Eating soft food seems to be avoiding major discomfort. I made a batch of parsnip and apple soup today which has become a standard lunch after a porridge or mullerice breakfast. The good news is I can still eat chocolate too, but alcohol is uncomfortable so that Champagne still has to wait; hopefully Christmas will be timely for the full celebration.
Only two more sessions to go then its all over.

A meeting with Occupational Health tomorrow will help to plan the finer details around returning to work. I am going to the Christmas meal with the department next week so it will be good to see everyone again after such a long time off.

The sun has finally come out as I near the end of this journey.

Yesterday I was taken on a surprise trip to Highclere Castle, better known as Downton Abbey! As a Downton fan, I didn't even know that you could visit the place until yesterday. It was a lovely surprise, but not as great a surprise as when my special man proposed to me under the Cedar tree on the bench where all the best conversations seem to take place in the series! He even had the ring ready, which is a beautiful white gold band with three diamonds set in a row. And my answer was yes; this man has proved beyond measure how much he wants to love and cherish me, especially in the middle of dark days.
 I have learn t to love and trust in love again through him and we now look forward to planning a Spring wedding as we want to be together as soon as possible. It may not always be an easy path ahead but I know that with what we have had to face in the last five months, we can work through anything together.

My Downton ring!

The famous bench under the Cedar of Lebanon!

Downton Abbey in all its glory; what a romantic!

Sadly I had to turn these two down!

 The side effects of the radiotherapy are starting to take effect, needing soluble paracetamol before each meal and soft food only and small portions. However, it is all tolerable and my skin seems to be faring well with lashings of Aqueous cream! I have only four sessions left now and that will be the end of my regular hospital trips for treatment and soon I can start living the next chapter of my life as Mrs James!

Over half-way now!

I have had 8 out of 15 radiotherapy sessions. Starting to feel a mild discomfort in my chest which I understand to be down to inflammation, however eating and drinking fine!
I am getting very tired again, especially in the late afternoon and evening, but am able to do much more generally. My walks may not happen as often as I'd hoped as my legs seem to tire very easily still if I am tired overall.

I met with my "favourite" consultant again  today who seemed to have a bit more of an approachable manner today. We discussed how the effects of the radiotherapy continue to work for quite a long time after it finishes. This means that it stops and rapid multiplying of any suspicious cells in the areas having been treated, which reduces the risk of reoccurrence. So although the "tumour" sites may not have gone back to normal size by the end of my radiotherapy, the effects to reduce them will be ongoing. This was completely different to what I understood her to have said last time. I'm still not sure when I will be declared as "in remission" as she thinks it unlikely that I will have a further scan within 3 months of completing radiotherapy because of the longer lasting effects.
Well at least she did not reduce me to tears today and I have a better understanding of the radiotherapy. Obviously the long-term effects will not be evident until a much later stage.
My skin is still looking good, only a very mild pinkness over the area and it does not feel sore at all. It is a relief to get my bra off by late afternoon though!!

Came home to have a routine boiler service this afternoon which revealed problems with my Heat Exchanger that have been caused through Kier making another blunder by leaving the Filling Loop completely open; not really sure what that is, but fortunately I have cover on my boiler policy to have the Heat Exchanger replaced. Sooner or later I would have had water gushing out of the front of the boiler in the kitchen!
The cupboard placed over the boiler did not allow for the front cover to be removed, so had to be dismantled; Phonecall to Kier to report the problem and await repair generated the usual apathy at the Customer Care end, or Customer No Care as they should be called!
I am very grateful to the engineer here still after 2 hours for extending his 20 minute service appointment to repairing the system before it broke down on me!

I would advise anyone think of buying a new home NOT to purchase a Kier home due to the amount of blunders they have made here.
 All that coupled with ongoing issues with the sale of the Thorpe house has led to stress levels starting to increase again, so I have to put my Relaxation Techniques to good use so as not to allow the stressful matters to get to me but to let go of them. A good solicitor always help too, who reluctantly I have had to turn to again otherwise that house will never be sold. I think that 2 years  is more than long enough to have waited for resolution of the "temporary" financial commitment that I had to make, especially now that my working capacity for the immediate future is uncertain.

Finishing on a positive note, I am thankful that I am getting through the Radiotherapy without too much discomfort and I have a warm house still in which to recover!
Thanks be to God for that.

6 out of 15 radiotherapy sessions done and feeling fine at the moment.

Yesterday was my youngest daughter's birthday and she was 17!! I can clearly remember her first Christmas when only one month old she slept in her Moses basket all day behind the settee in my parents house; I had to wake her to feed her in the chaos of presents and a 2 year and 5 year old sister!
I don't have to wake her to feed her anymore but I still have to wake her sometimes!
We had a lovely quiet evening at home with family and Coronation Chicken as requested.

I did my first Walk for Health yesterday, walking around Sloughbottom Park and a part of Marriots Way. It was only 2.5 miles, but an achievement for me and I totaled 7200 steps that day. My legs are very tired at the end of it and  by evening quite achy, but I feel like I'm getting stronger gradually.
As my radiotherapy is booked in the mornings mostly, I cant do another walk until the week after next, but then hope to do two a week.

Today it is raining heavily again so I think it will be a preserve making day. I am now starting to enjoy having some time at home to do things I would not normally have time to do as I recover and return to normal life.

Preserve making begun; Bramley apple and mint chutney produced today.

Session 3 radiotherapy went without any hitches and no side-effects yet either.
I had an appointment afterwards with my Radiotherapy Consultant. This is the lady who has carefully spelt out the possibility of the long-term side-effects to me on two precious occasions, only to be reinforced again today. She is the only person who after seeing her I come away feeling more anxious and down about the whole illness. She is a German lady and just says it as it is without softening the blow; I find this difficult to deal with although I know that she only doing her job as she has to and has spent a lot of time carefully planning my treatment down to the last millimtetre.
It seems that the "footprint" area of radiation does extend to my heart and covers an area of lung. These are the areas of concern for the future.
For those of you that believe in prayer, please pray for protection for my heart and lungs as well as the radiation treating what is left of the enlarged lymph nodes. Although the cancer has been reported to be inactive, these areas need to be shrunk completely back to normal size to be in remission. I understand that there are three areas; one in the left side of my neck where the original lump was, the largest one in the middle of my chest cavity and one right next to my heart.
I am struggling at the moment with the emotional side of it and how it may affect my future. I know there are still things that I have to let go of as part of my wholeness and feel I have reached a bend in my journey.
My sister has given me a lovely present to help me get through my radiotherapy days. I have an advent string with 15 pockets. In each one is a daily text and small present; Green and Blacks chocolate to date! The text for today was;

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.                          Proverbs 3:5

Trusting is difficult on some days but I keep trying.

My first radiotherapy experience wasn't too bad at all. I was actually taken through early, so no waiting around. A very careful explanation was given about what was going to happen.
I gowned up in a delightful back ventilated hospital robe and went through to meet Darth.
Over the first three days several check X-rays are taken by the machine to ensure that I am perfectly lined up for the area to be treated. Including this and my treatment, it was all over in about 5 minutes after I had been correctly positioned in the mask.
Nothing is felt during the procedure and I felt fine afterwards apart from the grid impression across my face.
It amused me somewhat that when getting my car park ticket validated, the receptionist had to ask if I had had radiotherapy today?? I pointed to my face instead of answering as a joke, but she wasn't amused and repeated the question before validating my ticket!! A sense of humour was somewhat lacking here, in a place where a little more might help at times.

I went from there for a short trip into Norwich and managed to buy a wireless bra as part of my comfort mission. Also purchased the recommended Aqueous cream for bathing and some Johnsons Baby Talc for the deodorant substitute.
Having met a friend for coffee and catch up in the morning, a meeting a work with HR before radiotherapy and a trip to Norwich, I had quite a busy day and was not overly tired.
I discussed my return to work plan in the meeting and pleased to hear that I can use all of my annual leave entitlement which is owing to reduce my weekly hours for a phased return. I hope to return the second week of January after a further meeting in December just before Christmas when I should have abetter idea about how many hours to work initially. This will be guided by Occupational Health, so its sounds like I am going to be well supported for returning to the NHS. I need to work my private work in with this gradually to increase my income again to be able to earn an income to support me completely again.
Feeling stronger each day, this should be achievable and I'm sure I will be itching to return by then.
In the meantime, let the preserve making begin!

Listening to this song this morning before starting my radiotherapy has helped me to remember that God's love and the love of many of my friends and family will never give up on me. That keeps me going.

Beautiful autumn day, walked to church and back for the first time. Lovely service with Holy Communion which helped to prepare myself for the next 3 weeks. Its difficult to let go of all my anxieties and fears about my treatment and the future, but the sunshine and autumn leaves shining through reminded me that God is bigger than all of it.

Sunday roast out and then a walk around the UEA lake with my man helped increase my pedometer reading to 8000 steps today, burn a few calories, strengthen my legs and lift my spirits.

This evening I had a deep soak in the bath for the last time for three weeks as no submerging of area being treated is allowed. Last slather of Champneys moisturising cream afterwards has left my skin feeling soft and gentle. No more deodorant or perfume either, so beware of strange smelling woman around if in the vicinity in the next 3 weeks!
Underwired bras seem to be a no go for lymphatic drainage as well as comfort so its a quick trip to Norwich tomorrow afternoon to buy comfort underwear! I have been reading on the internet about a big link between underwired bras and breast cancer as the lymphatic flow can be obstructed by underwired bras. It could account for a lot of breast cancer diagnoses, therefore something I need to pay attention to with my lymphatic system having been impaired through the lymphoma.
Message for any daughters; do not sleep in underwired bras as this increases the risk further. Going braless appears to be the best option, however not recommended for middle-aged boobs that are already heading south!

No sprouts appearing on head yet but there may be some carrots; seem to have a light aubern colour coming through! I know I was worried about being grey but wasn't expecting ginger! Lets hope its just the light and not the autumnal effects on my hair

Very pleased with myself today for managing a 20 minute walk at a good pace with no stopping around Roundhouse park, down to Colney Lane, up to the UEA periphery and back through the estate! It was a beautiful sunny autumnal day to be out in the fresh air.
All in all 5230 steps today. Not the most I've done in total, but the most in one walk at a pace.
My legs are finally beginning to feel like they belong to me again.
I will try to do this walk every day unless I have a longer Walk for Health planned.I can increase it to walk around the UEA grounds when I am ready for increasing the distance.
I finished my 1000 piece jigsaw  puzzle  of 1970's toys, cleaned and tidied my bedroom and cooked the evening meal too!

I also had a good prayer and chat time with my lovely Curate who helped put the difficult events of this week into perspective. I love having her live just around the corner as my neighbour, for her friendship and words of wisdom.

My dad got the "all clear" from his Orthopaedic Consultant and is now able to drive again, flex his hip fully and resume all normal activity. I am so thankful that he has made such an excellent recovery after his total hip replacement.

My hot flushes seem to be becoming more of a regular occurrence each day, setting my head on fire temporarily, so no second guessing as to what hormonal delights I am about to enter now! At least I'm unlikely to notice any additional tiredness, or it will seem easy compared to the fatigue I have had from the chemotherapy.

 A day of small blessings and progress to be thankful for.

Last treatment today in the Weybourne Clinic, hurray ; This was the best thing about today, as GP appointment for flu jab had to be postponed again as nurse was running late and I had to get to the hospital.
Conveyer belt of drips attached to people, in lines with no privacy watching the drips go through, nurses running from one patient to the next as the room is packed full.
Get there for 10.15am to find I was expected there at 9.30am despite my appointment letter saying 10.15am. Fortunately taken straight through then and hooked up to my LAST treatment of antibodies only.
I am so glad to not have to go to that room again as it now conjures up dread inside me as soon as I walk through the door.
As my car was still in the garage for repairs, I had to rely on lifts from daughter to get me there for morning appointment.l am thankful that she was willing to do this and to my mum for accompanying me on today's hospital visits.
Afternoon appointment for the Radiotherapy check meant catching the bus there and back which after a lunchtime unexpected confrontation with a family member left me once again drained and exhausted even before I got back to the hospital. Sadly the repercussions of non-communication from an ex-husband are once again taking their toll despite my current situation having no different outcome on my efforts.When this involves my children I find it particularly distressing and today added to that distress.
I then faced having to have the radiotherapy mask fitted for final checks involving X-rays for positioning .
Darth Vader left a criss-cross grid of red patterning across my face from the pressure while wearing it, and panda eyes. It did fade after about an hour but is not a pretty site especially on already puffy eyes and a bloated bald head.
When everyone leaves the treatment room for the X-rays to take place it is a truly isolating moment when pinned to the bed by this intrusive mask: Prayer at this time helps  me to know that I am not alone in that room, but resting in God's arms while everyone else deserts.
I am praying that He will protect me during this time from any nasty side-effects from the radiation and use it for healing purposes only to bring me to a place of complete wholeness again.

How quickly the happiness from a lovely break was replaced with the realities of my illness literally" in my face" and the trials of family relationships zap the little energy I have gained from the rest over the last week.
I am so thankful for that time away, for the respite and loving care I received, in preparation for what I hope is the last hurdle of this journey.

Sorry for delay in blog but holidaying without a computer was very restful!
I have had a wonderful break from the harsh effects of chemotherapy and a change of scenery from the walls of my house!
My special man took me to Les Miserables in London for my all time favourite musical and it didnt fail to send shivers down my spine even on my fourth attendance! A truly amazing evening and tea in Chinatown before the show was a breath of fresh air from my "confinement!"
We then headed off the next day to Derbyshire to a beautiful cottage just outside Matlock. The cottage was warm once the heating kicked in despite being old with beams, but sensitively refurbished. It was extremely well equipped too as the owner lives there for some of the time.

No hillwalking, but lots of exploring lovely villages and coffee shops! Bakewell, Matlock, Buxton to name a few with lots of lovely cake to keep us going!
My pedometer allowed me to track my footsteps and I managed to progress to 4500 steps at Chatsworth House yesterday.Previously my maximum was about 1500, so definite progress but still fatigue very easily. The glorious gardens in autumn colours were amazing to see and explored as far as possible. The house was decorated for Christmas in Pantomime style with favourite characters around the rooms, but sadly two floors were closed because of the Christmas theme. There was even a windband playing carols in the courtyard and mulled wine on sale for the real festive feeling (albeit a little early!)
It certainly lifted my spirits anyway.
We also dined in luxury on a Steam train with a magnificent 5-course meal, and several journeys backwards and forwards between Loughborough and Leicester North! No walking energy required here, but some extra walking needed next day to burn off the calories!
All in all a very relaxing and special time, very spoiled.

Returned home today to find the house intact and " reasonably" tidy. Only mishap was a slight scratch to the car from some unfortunate parking in John Lewis Car Park with one very regretful daughter, but insurance should cover damage to both cars affected. Easy mistake but will probably affect her premium on the renewal that was about to happen.
Shame about the empty fridge though!

Tomorrow its back to the hospital for my last antibody treatment before radiotherapy starts next week.
A slow but gradual recovery is occurring but I think awhile yet before my strength returns to anywhere near normal.

No hair growth yet either, but watching for new sprouts anyday!!