Isaiah 43:2
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.

Think I am starting to pass through the waters.
Rough evening yesterday not keeping anything down, but my personal nurse kept me on track and managed to have a good night eventually.
Feeling bit better today, but a day in bed with my newly acquired widescreen, Olympics and mum to look after me.
Had a lovely gift through the post from a special friend which made me laugh as it included everything from a headscarf in my colours, false eyelashes, Strawberry jam with Gin to compensate for what I cant drink from the glass and many other delights to keep me going. Even the promise of a handyman!!
I also received a beautiful Orchid plant from an auntie, so feeling very loved again.
Keeping food down today  must be a bonus, so the rivers are not sweeping over me.
My drug chart had been written up to make sure I take my cocktail in the right order and will be checked!!
Enjoying the luxury of laying in bed doing absolutely nothing; how rare is that?

First treatment cycle begun; Long day at the hospital 8.30-4.0pm with a drip in the back of my hand .
Very well looked after in a relaxing environment with a Christian Nurse Specialist.
All drugs received without any reactions.
Felt nauseous on arriving home, but have only been sick once and just had some soup for tea.
My delivery of Hotpot from a kind friend will have to wait for another day.

Apart from feeling like I have been hit by a bus, all has gone to plan, so another answer to prayer.
I plan to rest over the next few days in the care of some special people in my life.
May be up to other visitors after the week-end.
Watch this space.....

Today my dad was 70!
We realized that he was only a year older than I am now when he became a grandfather for the first time;scary!
We spent the day together again as a family with a trip into Norwich to the Apple Store to set up his new Ipod; despite being 70, he is certainly not behind the times.
My dad is the best dad you could ever wish for. He has always been there for me as a child, but even more so as an adult. The past 3-4 years of my life have been particularly difficult and he has stood by and supported me every step of the way, with my mum too. There exists a special bond between us which I think began when I was born prematurely and continues stronger than ever today as I begin this battle against cancer.
I feel so privileged to have had such a wonderful dad who is still with me now, and there for my children to learn from too. I hope he will be with me for many more years to come.

Tomorrow is day one of the unkown; I have to be at the hospital at 8.30am and will be there for about six hours as my chemotherapy is fed slowly through a drip.
For those of you interested in the details, my regime is called R-CHOP

• Rituximab- is a monoclonal antibody
• Cyclophosphamide- a chemotherapy drug
• Doxorubicin- A chemotherapy drug
• Vincristine- A chemotherapy drug
• Prednisolone- a steroid

Quite a cocktail, but not of the type I am used to or would prefer! The good news however is that I can still drink alcohol during my therapy; probably not while I'm connected up to the drip though, so none tomorrow.
I'm sure that an occasional G and T will also have its place in my regime .

I am relieved that it is starting as my neck is becoming more aching each day.
I have my own personal nurse to accompany me tomorrow who will ensure that all goes as it should; you never think your sister being an Oncology nurse would be the best career she could have chosen until you are at the receiving end of her care.

For those of you who believe in the power of prayer, please pray for me tomorrow as the drugs start to go into my body, that they will do the job intended and there will be no adverse reactions.
Pray also for the Consultant looking after me for her wisdom in knowing the right course to take as I move through this journey.
Praise God that I have Him who is sovereign over all in complete control of my life.

What a lovely day today with all three girls, mum, dad, Cheryl together for a lunch together at Caister Hall Hotel. We came back and took some photos in the garden. An additional joy was finding out that a gardening fairy had been in my absence and planted some new plants in my failed vegetable patch and sprinkled fairy stones all over the garden! How blessed I am to have people around me making me feel so special at this time.
I have also had a makeover in my bedroom yesterday, gaining a TV, DVD player, mini fridge and teas-made to accompany my newly acquired  Ipod, (an early birthday present from my sister.)
I think I just might hibernate for the next few months in my bedroom and put a "Do not disturb!" sign on the door, except of course for summoning attention when my water jug needs filling or I'm hungry!
I've yet to discover whether a bell, texting or twittering will be the most effective.

Emotions ran high for a time as different reactions are emerging during a testing time.
I think we are all on a steep learning curve at the moment, which I hope will bring us closer together as a family.
What I know without doubt is that I have a wonderful family and friends around me.

The transformation

The shroud of a chrysalis forms one day;

Unexpected darkness shield's the sun's ray.

Initially this new form suggests death and fear,

But as the body stills, calms, rests, God's hand

Allows time and space for metamorphis;

The healing and birth of a new form breaks

Through the long days of heartache and pain.

A transition occurs. Old form fades and decays,

New cells transform and bring new life

Gradually building to a crescendo...

Out of the stillness and peace emerges

A miracle; the hard shell gone reveals

A beauty only God can create,

A butterfly, with colour resplendent,

A lightness of spirit that soars so high

It transcends all the mountains that once seemed

Impossible and insurmountable.

From that darkened shell the new form brings

New focus, new goals, new dreams, renewed love

For all things precious, delightful, simple

And  joy abounding with hope for the future

Written by Debra Chaney in the middle of the night!

Another step into the unknown today; wigs!
I had a wonderful lady visit my home with an assortment of styles to try for my captive audience to comment on.
Tea and cream cakes ready for the party to begin with my closest friends and family who could make it.
I had my hair cut yesterday in preparation for the fallout. I have an amazing hairdresser too who has supported a partner through all of this, so first hand experience in all areas. He has prepared me for how quickly it happens and how upsetting it can be when it does. I have permission to call him anytime to have it all shaved off when that moment comes. Hence the need for today's appointment in preparation.

After wigs going on, off, on again; colour, style, length, it was a surreal experience.
My daughter's face was my best benchmark and she was happy with the result.
I have chosen a very natural looking highlighted bob. I might even prefer it to my real hair at the moment!
Who knows, I might even stick with wigs to keep the hair bill and associated faffing down.




Tonight I am feeling very tired and my neck is aching, so I have indulged in a quiet evening on the settee watching the Olympics where Victoria Pendleton and Andy Murray cheered me up big time.

I have a lovely weekend ahead with my eldest daughter coming home to celebrate my dad's 70th birthday.
Family time will never be more precious than now.

Will leave you to decide which one was chosen!

Today was the day that I wanted to come, but wanted to go away also. I met with my Consultant to get the results of my scan and treatment plan. Despite being Non-Hodgekins Lymphoma, the good news was that my scan showed that only the lymph nodes in my neck and chest on the left were affected. This was significant in being above the diaphragm and therefore at an earlier stage to treat. That was when I breathed a huge sigh of relief.
"This is curable and we have every intention to cure you through the treatment" were the words that I will remember forever.
The words from Mark's Gospel Chapter 5 I had been given a few weeks ago also resounded;
"Daughter, your faith has healed you, go in peace and be freed from your suffering"

So next Tuesday I start my chemotherapy in two week cycles for twelve weeks.
I will go in as an out-patient on every other Tuesday with some daily drugs needed at home.
My hair will fall out after two weeks, so the wig party is essential now.
I visited the Big C Centre afterwards and found out about all sorts of things I can access;
A well-being workshop to go through skin care and make-up with freebies; I've always loved a bargain!
Reflexology or light massage sessions for 6 weeks for me and a carer; all interested parties can be entered into a ballot!
Counseling sessions for me and a carer (separately thank goodness!); Ok, maybe not quite so many queuing for this one, but I'm sure it will be beneficial for the one that does sign up with me.
Scarf tying workshops; a new skill to be learnt to add to my CV,
Tea and coffee and a listening ear for anytime needed when I am around the hospital,
Relaxation classes run by an Occupational Therapist,
So all in all I will have a pretty full schedule, and most of all, time for me.

So with designer sunglasses at the ready, a stylish hairdo and a makeover, watch out for a new woman that you may not recognize; the best is yet to come.

Praise the Lord, O my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name.
Praise the Lord , O my soul, and forget not all his benefits-
Who forgives your sins and heals all your diseases,
Who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion,
Who satisfies your desires with good things
So that your youth is renewed like the eagles'


Psalm 103: 1-5