I received my diagnosis of Lymphoma. on 11th July 2012.
The initial fear and anxiety that I experienced was enormous; my health, my children, my job, my finances, everything hung in the balance...suspended in time.
Gradually over the last few weeks I have learnt to accept this change as a positive time to allow me to rest, reflect and recover both physically and emotionally from the damage that has occurred in my body.

My initial thoughts were why now? After all the pain and stress of the divorce, why now? I had reached the point of accepting that this was now time for me to discover myself again and find the person who is not just a mother, daughter, sister, friend. I had to rediscover me and allow myself the time to do that.
Is this what this time will do?
So has this come to allow me that rest?
 After all, I am now looking at 4-6 months off work as I go through the rigours of chemotherapy and all that it brings.
As my hair falls out, my eyelashes, eyebrows, will I find me again?

Already I am finding an inner strength that I lost through my marriage, a dependency on God instead of man.
A peace that calms the fears and anxieties.
A trust in an everlasting love that will never let me down.
Being held by friends and family in prayer and love in a way I have never felt before.

Tomorrow I meet my Haematology Consultant to get the results of my scan and treatment programme.
 I cant say I'm not a little bit scared, but I'm determined to do this in style and the Wig Party is arranged for Friday!
I cannot go around looking like a bald coot; I want to look like a peacock who is not afraid to strut her stuff!
So I will record the changes here as they happen, the highs and lows that I go through
As I take this journey into the unknown.