I have realised that I have not updated my Blog since seeing my Oncology Consultant in February.
There was no definitive outcome, but judging by my progress with returning to work and diminishing fatigue the treatment was regarded as successful. A scan at this stage was discussed, though the results could be inconclusive, therefore it thought better to wait a few months until my next appointment in May to discuss further whether this was necessary.
Since then I have continued to feel a bit stronger each week and a bit less tired in the evenings. I still tend to crash around 8.0pm and have an early bath to relax my muscles off. I have suffered over the last few weeks with some pain in the muscles around my shoulders and upper back which eases a lot in the bath. Maybe some tissue changes from the radiotherapy , but a massage at the Starthrowers Centre helped a lot. The lady who gave me a massage during my chemo is away until mid-March so I will have to wait a while to see her but I think regular massage will help to work through any scar tissue that may have formed.
Wedding preparations are well under control now with everything booked, outfits bought, flowers ordered and honeymoon tickets due to arrive any day! I am excited about the big day, but really looking forward to two weeks away on our own in the sunshine! I have three weeks off work, one before the wedding and two after so should be able to have a relaxing and refreshing break.
My hair has grown enough to look like a short haircut now instead of a number 3 or 4! It is starting to curl and there is no grey! So I feel less conscious about my hair for the wedding day and have found a lovely hair decoration (not fascinator) to compliment the hairstyle.
I was even told that I looked much younger with my hair short this week, so I may keep it this way, especially as its a zero maintenance style in the morning!
I do struggle from time to time with fluctuating emotions around events of the last year and before but try to stay positive. I have a new and good future to look forward to and grateful for the chance to live life normally again with happy times ahead.
Thursday, 7 March 2013
Monday, 11 February 2013
5 weeks into my back to work schedule and I am now up to my 18 NHS hours with two private patients a week. I'm pleased to say that this has been ok although i do get tired, just rest when that happens.
The decision about my private work was made for me as I discovered that another physio who had been employed to see three of the children in my absence was going to continue seeing them. Initially this felt like a huge blow on my confidence and my finances as this formed half of my regular caseload.
However since getting my head round it, they are all quite physically demanding patients to work with and demanding parents so I'm probably better off without that stress. It did cause concern for my finances as my NHS salary is not sufficient on its own. With the two remaining regular patients I can just keep my head above water and the workload is about right for now.
While debating how I was going to improve this situation, I was offered an almost full-time post at the children's hospice where the NHS have a contract which I currently work. It sounded like good news although with my hospital hours would be a full-time post. I don't feel ready to leave the security of my hospital post yet so not sure how doing both will work, but further discussions with managers might lead to an easier decision. I dont think anything would change within 3 months as there is a contract in place that would require notice to change.
This would provide security for the future in terms of any sick leave and all my pension terms, holiday terms etc would be transferable without losing out on anything. A Band 7 paediatric post is very difficult to secure these days with a lot of physios being down-banded so this is a great opportunity, but not the right time for me to be working full-time.
Quality of life must come into my decision making as I don't want to compromise my health for work and there will be a second income contributing to household expenses soon.
On the hair front, I am now sporting an Ann Hathaway look, following her crop in Les Miserables!
It is about 1cm all over and quite thick, dark brown not grey!! After many years of having it highlighted it seems dark but at least its hair. A shampoo I was recommended called "Fast" has certainly done as it claims and helped the growth. Amino acids are supposed too treat the scalp to encourage hair growth.
It just about feels like a short haircut now rather than a number 2 or 3.
Wednesday is my Consultant Review with my Oncologist, first one since finishing treatment. I'm not expecting any revelations either way, but will be good to talk through some minor symptons that persist and what to expect in the future. I think a lot will be just waiting and seeing, but hopefully some reassurance about where \I am at right now.
Somehow when all the treatment has finished its harder as there is no regular contact with doctors. Hopefully this appointment will help me to understand what happens from here.
The decision about my private work was made for me as I discovered that another physio who had been employed to see three of the children in my absence was going to continue seeing them. Initially this felt like a huge blow on my confidence and my finances as this formed half of my regular caseload.
However since getting my head round it, they are all quite physically demanding patients to work with and demanding parents so I'm probably better off without that stress. It did cause concern for my finances as my NHS salary is not sufficient on its own. With the two remaining regular patients I can just keep my head above water and the workload is about right for now.
While debating how I was going to improve this situation, I was offered an almost full-time post at the children's hospice where the NHS have a contract which I currently work. It sounded like good news although with my hospital hours would be a full-time post. I don't feel ready to leave the security of my hospital post yet so not sure how doing both will work, but further discussions with managers might lead to an easier decision. I dont think anything would change within 3 months as there is a contract in place that would require notice to change.
This would provide security for the future in terms of any sick leave and all my pension terms, holiday terms etc would be transferable without losing out on anything. A Band 7 paediatric post is very difficult to secure these days with a lot of physios being down-banded so this is a great opportunity, but not the right time for me to be working full-time.
Quality of life must come into my decision making as I don't want to compromise my health for work and there will be a second income contributing to household expenses soon.
On the hair front, I am now sporting an Ann Hathaway look, following her crop in Les Miserables!
It is about 1cm all over and quite thick, dark brown not grey!! After many years of having it highlighted it seems dark but at least its hair. A shampoo I was recommended called "Fast" has certainly done as it claims and helped the growth. Amino acids are supposed too treat the scalp to encourage hair growth.
It just about feels like a short haircut now rather than a number 2 or 3.
Wednesday is my Consultant Review with my Oncologist, first one since finishing treatment. I'm not expecting any revelations either way, but will be good to talk through some minor symptons that persist and what to expect in the future. I think a lot will be just waiting and seeing, but hopefully some reassurance about where \I am at right now.
Somehow when all the treatment has finished its harder as there is no regular contact with doctors. Hopefully this appointment will help me to understand what happens from here.
Sunday, 13 January 2013
First week back at work: great to be back after 5 months off and rediscover some normality.
It came directly after our break at Champeneys Henlow, where as a rare treat, my sister, Mum and dad and myself spent 2 days together relaxing together. It was a very special Christmas present from mum and dad, which after my last visit there allowed me to give thanks for the return of good health.My sister and I last visited two days before my diagnosis was given by my GP. It had been a very tense time and difficult to relax or enjoy and pampering as I was limited in what I could access.
This time I had a wonderful facial to restore my skin after the challenges of chemotherapy and radiotherapy. Swimming again was such a treat after the radiotherapy prevented me from even submerging in the bath!
The yoga classes allowed me to stretch effectively and lose the muscle pain I had in my calf .
The food was divine and healthy, kick-starting the healthy eating plan for 2013, to shed a few pounds gained from my period of inactivity.
My energy levels changed from even one week previous, so that the timing to return to work was perfect.
I did however only work 4.5 hours on 2 days!! A lovely gentle start back at the hospital which will continue this way for the next 4 weeks. That gives me oppertunity to build up my private work as my body allows.
This is necessary to bring my income back above 50% of what I have been getting for the last 5 months, but my bank account is still in the black thankfully.
Purchasing a wedding dress even at a 70% discount and dresses for the girls has hit it a bit further but managing to keep the purchases on budget!
The January sales enticed me to test my current stamina state, which improved dramatically with the lure of bargains!
It is just wonderful to be able to visit the supermarket, without feeling total fatigue afterwards and do jobs around the house for more than 20 minutes and enjoy exercising.
I still am a little breathless when I reach the top of the stairs in my house, but it is two flights to the second floor. Some of that may be due to some lung inflammation still too as I sometimes catch my breath with a short gasp as if I cant get the air in.
My skin has returned to normal over the radiation area since changing cream and the redness is minimal now.
My hair is about 1cm long all over and I have abandoned my wig as I decided to return to work without it to avoid the dilemma later of going "naked!" It feels great but is cold at times, so using a knitted headband for a bit of warmth when I need it.
So having been reunited with my man after his holiday away with his children, returning to work and planning the details of our wedding and a honeymoon, life is good!!
It came directly after our break at Champeneys Henlow, where as a rare treat, my sister, Mum and dad and myself spent 2 days together relaxing together. It was a very special Christmas present from mum and dad, which after my last visit there allowed me to give thanks for the return of good health.My sister and I last visited two days before my diagnosis was given by my GP. It had been a very tense time and difficult to relax or enjoy and pampering as I was limited in what I could access.
This time I had a wonderful facial to restore my skin after the challenges of chemotherapy and radiotherapy. Swimming again was such a treat after the radiotherapy prevented me from even submerging in the bath!
The yoga classes allowed me to stretch effectively and lose the muscle pain I had in my calf .
The food was divine and healthy, kick-starting the healthy eating plan for 2013, to shed a few pounds gained from my period of inactivity.
My energy levels changed from even one week previous, so that the timing to return to work was perfect.
I did however only work 4.5 hours on 2 days!! A lovely gentle start back at the hospital which will continue this way for the next 4 weeks. That gives me oppertunity to build up my private work as my body allows.
This is necessary to bring my income back above 50% of what I have been getting for the last 5 months, but my bank account is still in the black thankfully.
Purchasing a wedding dress even at a 70% discount and dresses for the girls has hit it a bit further but managing to keep the purchases on budget!
The January sales enticed me to test my current stamina state, which improved dramatically with the lure of bargains!
It is just wonderful to be able to visit the supermarket, without feeling total fatigue afterwards and do jobs around the house for more than 20 minutes and enjoy exercising.
I still am a little breathless when I reach the top of the stairs in my house, but it is two flights to the second floor. Some of that may be due to some lung inflammation still too as I sometimes catch my breath with a short gasp as if I cant get the air in.
My skin has returned to normal over the radiation area since changing cream and the redness is minimal now.
My hair is about 1cm long all over and I have abandoned my wig as I decided to return to work without it to avoid the dilemma later of going "naked!" It feels great but is cold at times, so using a knitted headband for a bit of warmth when I need it.
So having been reunited with my man after his holiday away with his children, returning to work and planning the details of our wedding and a honeymoon, life is good!!
Monday, 31 December 2012
So its the end of 2012.
Little did I know last New Years Eve, what the year would hold.
Better that I didnt know about most of it as I would have chosen to bypass the year totally.
Had I done that though, I would have missed out on so many blessings. Despite the battle against cancer, I have so much to be thankful for:
I started writing a poem in the summer which I have completed tonight and it seems the right time to share,
The tapestry of life
Life takes us through many twists and turns
As a river meanders its way through ,
We dont know what lies around the bend
But countless challenges, effortless joy
Make us into the people we become.
Life is easy when the road is straight ,
The pathway ahead uncluttered and clear;
Unexpected circumstances redirect
Changing the route on which we relied
Offering crossroads or even a deep divide.
The road may become tough, muddy and wild
Exposed to the elements, chilled to the core
Life challenges our being to the very extreme
Stretching and testing to refine us more
To become as the person God made us.
Sometimes circumstances, sometimes fate
Delivers a hand we would choose to avoid.
Yet we might miss the beauty of a rugged ravine
Where hardship lies dangerously close
To an unexpected calm.
Embrace the changes, cling not to the old
If a new road opens up before you.
There are no "U" turns in this life on earth
For we need to move on towards the goal
Which brings freedom and life to the very soul.
So as we say goodbye to another year
We wait a while to pause to reflect
Of lessons learned and blessings untold
Days filled with silver, bronze or gold
Form the tapestry, we must never forget.
Welcome 2013 with open arms
Unafraid of the events it may bring.
Live life as if each day were the last
Counting the blessings and leaving the past
To itself, and give thanks for just being.
HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL WHO HAVE FOLLOWED MY JOURNEY SO FAR...I HOPE WE WILL HAVE MANY MORE DAYS AHEAD TO SHARE TOGETHER!
Little did I know last New Years Eve, what the year would hold.
Better that I didnt know about most of it as I would have chosen to bypass the year totally.
Had I done that though, I would have missed out on so many blessings. Despite the battle against cancer, I have so much to be thankful for:
- A family around me that love me beyond measure
- Friends that will give up their time to feed me, clean my house, buy me flowers, overwhelm me with their love
- A special man with whom I have learnt to fully love again and have a future with
- A body that is able to recover itself and regain strength
- A roof over my head still that has provided a safe haven for us all to heal in
- Medical Expertise that is able to diagnose and treat illness effectively with 21st Century technology
- A job to return to with caring staff to support me
- Time spent with special people in a way I have never had before
- A hope and a future whatever the outcome
- Seeing the world in a different perspective, appreciating the little things more
- Time to just "be" rather than "do"
I started writing a poem in the summer which I have completed tonight and it seems the right time to share,
The tapestry of life
Life takes us through many twists and turns
As a river meanders its way through ,
We dont know what lies around the bend
But countless challenges, effortless joy
Make us into the people we become.
Life is easy when the road is straight ,
The pathway ahead uncluttered and clear;
Unexpected circumstances redirect
Changing the route on which we relied
Offering crossroads or even a deep divide.
The road may become tough, muddy and wild
Exposed to the elements, chilled to the core
Life challenges our being to the very extreme
Stretching and testing to refine us more
To become as the person God made us.
Sometimes circumstances, sometimes fate
Delivers a hand we would choose to avoid.
Yet we might miss the beauty of a rugged ravine
Where hardship lies dangerously close
To an unexpected calm.
Embrace the changes, cling not to the old
If a new road opens up before you.
There are no "U" turns in this life on earth
For we need to move on towards the goal
Which brings freedom and life to the very soul.
So as we say goodbye to another year
We wait a while to pause to reflect
Of lessons learned and blessings untold
Days filled with silver, bronze or gold
Form the tapestry, we must never forget.
Welcome 2013 with open arms
Unafraid of the events it may bring.
Live life as if each day were the last
Counting the blessings and leaving the past
To itself, and give thanks for just being.
HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL WHO HAVE FOLLOWED MY JOURNEY SO FAR...I HOPE WE WILL HAVE MANY MORE DAYS AHEAD TO SHARE TOGETHER!
Friday, 14 December 2012
Hair is growing back; number one all over now!
Although my treatment journey is hopefully complete, I will continue the blog to record my recovery progress as it may be helpful to other people suffering from the same condition.
When I googled "when does your hair grow back after chemotherapy" there was very little information or detail. There was one photo of a lady's head that I could find. I will add a photo of my hair at this stage,
8 weeks after finishing chemotherapy.
Once it broke the surface, it has grown quite rapidly in just a week or so.
My hairdresser has recommended that I have the initial growth shaved off to allow the hair to strengthen but I don't know if I can bring myself to do that after waiting so long to see it appear! It is only about 5mm long, so I wouldn't be losing much but it is very precious now!
It is exactly a week since I finished radiotherapy.
Following a lovely evening out with family on the Friday, I had a hugely emotional day on the Saturday. I was totally exhausted and couldn't stop crying. Whether it was relief, or having had to keep going for 5 months with the programme I don't know. An early night on Saturday helped and Sunday I felt much better.
I managed a 3 mile walk with Walk for Health around Whitlingham Broad on the Monday and felt much less fatigued than the previous walk at the end.
I have spent this week making goodies for Christmas hampers and even ventured out alone on two occasions. My stamina is gradually improving as I am able to do a little more before resting each day.
I also met up with all my work colleagues on Tuesday for our Christmas lunch. I had the salmon option rather than turkey due to eating difficulties, but it was all very enjoyable. We had Secret Santa gifts and a good catch up generally. I'm looking forward to returning in January as Im starting to feel ready to do so.
Fortunately the side-effects of radiotherapy are not nearly as bad as I was warned. Apart from some discomfort last weekend, I have not felt many problems this week and needed little medication. I was warned of a peak around this weekend, but things are definitely improving slowly.
The Christmas tree and decorations went up last Sunday after very careful consideration of choice at Notcutts Garden Centre! Thanks to my man I was able to have a real tree which I enjoy looking at every day, appreciating more than normal as I am at home to enjoy it.
Its beginning to look a lot like Christmas!
Although my treatment journey is hopefully complete, I will continue the blog to record my recovery progress as it may be helpful to other people suffering from the same condition.
When I googled "when does your hair grow back after chemotherapy" there was very little information or detail. There was one photo of a lady's head that I could find. I will add a photo of my hair at this stage,
8 weeks after finishing chemotherapy.
Once it broke the surface, it has grown quite rapidly in just a week or so.
My hairdresser has recommended that I have the initial growth shaved off to allow the hair to strengthen but I don't know if I can bring myself to do that after waiting so long to see it appear! It is only about 5mm long, so I wouldn't be losing much but it is very precious now!
It is exactly a week since I finished radiotherapy.
Following a lovely evening out with family on the Friday, I had a hugely emotional day on the Saturday. I was totally exhausted and couldn't stop crying. Whether it was relief, or having had to keep going for 5 months with the programme I don't know. An early night on Saturday helped and Sunday I felt much better.
I managed a 3 mile walk with Walk for Health around Whitlingham Broad on the Monday and felt much less fatigued than the previous walk at the end.
I have spent this week making goodies for Christmas hampers and even ventured out alone on two occasions. My stamina is gradually improving as I am able to do a little more before resting each day.
I also met up with all my work colleagues on Tuesday for our Christmas lunch. I had the salmon option rather than turkey due to eating difficulties, but it was all very enjoyable. We had Secret Santa gifts and a good catch up generally. I'm looking forward to returning in January as Im starting to feel ready to do so.
Fortunately the side-effects of radiotherapy are not nearly as bad as I was warned. Apart from some discomfort last weekend, I have not felt many problems this week and needed little medication. I was warned of a peak around this weekend, but things are definitely improving slowly.
The Christmas tree and decorations went up last Sunday after very careful consideration of choice at Notcutts Garden Centre! Thanks to my man I was able to have a real tree which I enjoy looking at every day, appreciating more than normal as I am at home to enjoy it.
Its beginning to look a lot like Christmas!
Friday, 7 December 2012
My journey is completed!
Today I had my last session of radiotherapy and have even brought Darth home with me as a memento; for a short while any way!
I have no visits to the hospital now until the middle of January for a Radiotherapy Review.
I have been warned that my symptoms may peak in about 10 days time before they start to improve but at least I know that its all working as it should be.
So now its time to celebrate, having come through my journey with no complications and enjoy every day for what it brings. Joyful, joyful, sums up completely how I feel right now.
There will be no more "bad hair" days as just to have hair again will be a blessing.
I will be thankful for each day as my strength improves and I can get back to normal life.
I will never complain about exercising again or wish for a duvet day!
I want to thank all of my friends, family and my fiance(!) for the love and support they have shown me to help me through. I couldn't have got through this without all their love and prayers.
Little did I know that my journey through unknown territory would lead to being engaged!
I know that I am loved for who I am inside as the outside has been stripped away and I have been loved even more.
I want to thank God for His protection and strength to help me through each day, knowing that He is with me always and at times carrying me on the most difficult days when I had no strength.
I have known His presence in a way I have not felt before now.
I hope that everything that I have experienced will be able to help others in some way, either through my work or through friendships so that it will not have been time wasted.
But now, I have cracked open the tin of Celebration chocolates and look forward to an evening out with my family to celebrate life!
Hallelujah!
Today I had my last session of radiotherapy and have even brought Darth home with me as a memento; for a short while any way!
I have no visits to the hospital now until the middle of January for a Radiotherapy Review.
I have been warned that my symptoms may peak in about 10 days time before they start to improve but at least I know that its all working as it should be.
So now its time to celebrate, having come through my journey with no complications and enjoy every day for what it brings. Joyful, joyful, sums up completely how I feel right now.
There will be no more "bad hair" days as just to have hair again will be a blessing.
I will be thankful for each day as my strength improves and I can get back to normal life.
I will never complain about exercising again or wish for a duvet day!
I want to thank all of my friends, family and my fiance(!) for the love and support they have shown me to help me through. I couldn't have got through this without all their love and prayers.
Little did I know that my journey through unknown territory would lead to being engaged!
I know that I am loved for who I am inside as the outside has been stripped away and I have been loved even more.
I want to thank God for His protection and strength to help me through each day, knowing that He is with me always and at times carrying me on the most difficult days when I had no strength.
I have known His presence in a way I have not felt before now.
I hope that everything that I have experienced will be able to help others in some way, either through my work or through friendships so that it will not have been time wasted.
But now, I have cracked open the tin of Celebration chocolates and look forward to an evening out with my family to celebrate life!
Hallelujah!
Wednesday, 5 December 2012
I have hair coming though!! Probably equal to a number one all over, or a six o'clock shadow!
Its taken about 7 weeks since finishing chemo to see the first signs
It is dark also, so no ginger colour change I think! It will be a while yet before I can go public with it so my wig and me have to remain friends for a while longer yet.
I had my last Radiotherapy Review appointment today and need to start using the Lignocaine Muselage now prior to eating to ease the inflammation. Eating soft food seems to be avoiding major discomfort. I made a batch of parsnip and apple soup today which has become a standard lunch after a porridge or mullerice breakfast. The good news is I can still eat chocolate too, but alcohol is uncomfortable so that Champagne still has to wait; hopefully Christmas will be timely for the full celebration.
Only two more sessions to go then its all over.
A meeting with Occupational Health tomorrow will help to plan the finer details around returning to work. I am going to the Christmas meal with the department next week so it will be good to see everyone again after such a long time off.
Its taken about 7 weeks since finishing chemo to see the first signs
It is dark also, so no ginger colour change I think! It will be a while yet before I can go public with it so my wig and me have to remain friends for a while longer yet.
I had my last Radiotherapy Review appointment today and need to start using the Lignocaine Muselage now prior to eating to ease the inflammation. Eating soft food seems to be avoiding major discomfort. I made a batch of parsnip and apple soup today which has become a standard lunch after a porridge or mullerice breakfast. The good news is I can still eat chocolate too, but alcohol is uncomfortable so that Champagne still has to wait; hopefully Christmas will be timely for the full celebration.
Only two more sessions to go then its all over.
A meeting with Occupational Health tomorrow will help to plan the finer details around returning to work. I am going to the Christmas meal with the department next week so it will be good to see everyone again after such a long time off.
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